Using the lines that you were assigned in class, add more evidence of informal language and style in the poem. If you can't find any more evidence, simply comment on the strengths and weaknesses of the poem.
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- Todd's 110 Garage
- Born and raised near signs of Lewis and Clark's Missouri River portage, I now live in Auburn, WA and teach at Green River CC and Muckleshoot Tribal College. I have an M.A. in English literature from The University of Montana. I'm married and have no kids.
6 comments:
Lines 20-30 use informal language mostly in the sentence structure. Sentences vary from simple - "the signal switches and he is gone." - to run on - "I cut to the inner lane behind him, then I see that the parking lane is open and I flash by inside of him and the Mercedes, turn up the radio, make the green as the Mercedes and blue eyes run the yellow into the red."
Although he uses "blue eyes" as a name, he does not capitalize it. He also does not capitalize the beginnnings of many sentences, yet always capitalizes Mercedes and the names of cities and streets.
In lines 11 - 19 there are also similar informal language cues. None of the beginning of his sentences are capitalized. It seems like there is a little jargon. For example, "when i check the rear view he is upon my bumber again." He does not say rear view mirror and to me that seems informal. His tone sounds very informal. "i hit the blinker and fire across 3 lanes of traffic.." The structure is just really raw and the language does not seem elequent. He does not constantly use commas. In the lines 11-19 he only uses one comma which is in a weird place. . "across 3 lanes of traffic, just make the off ramp..."There never is proper comma use. He also uses three periods instead of one. The poem is set in 1980 on a california freeway and he is racing. It makes sense that the voice of the poem would use informal language.
In Lines 1-10 Is where I first started to notice the informal language being used. The sentences were very short and choppy. Also the words that were being used were not very descriptive they were simpler ones that people use in every day language.
In class I had the lines 1-10. I noticed that the sentences were really short. The way that they are structured makes it seem like he is angry but the words that are used at times are just kind or weird words to use when one is angry. For example, I don't know of very many people that wouls say "he draws up against..." or "sucks upon a dead cigar." Both 'draws', 'upon' and 'likewise'(line 9) seem like more formal words when compared against the structure and the rest of the words in the section that I had. I dont think that the diction is completely informal. I think that it is a combination of both formal and informal.
In class I focused on lines 20-30. I noticed the use of informal language used in all sentences. The sentences are short and choppy. The narrator seems upset and just thinks out loud and describes how they feel in short responses.
Though the fragmentation of the sentences is commonly regarded as a strength, in my reading it is a weakness. For me it detracts from the hast that a car race entails and leaves the narrator sounding board. However, I did find that the descriptions of the race were quite clear, a definite strength.
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